


A Very Dark Place

by SoundandColor



Category: Nikita (TV 2010)
Genre: Character of Color, Dark fic, F/F, F/M, Female Character of Color, Gen, Rare Characters, Rare Pairing, The More The Merrier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-29
Updated: 2011-10-29
Packaged: 2017-10-25 01:25:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/270159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoundandColor/pseuds/SoundandColor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaden's mind is a very dark place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Dark Place

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a fill for my angst_bingo card (you can check it out [HERE](http://ladyofspring.livejournal.com/44123.html#cutid1)). This fic takes place at various moments during season one so beware of spoilers if you haven't finished it yet. It's also unbeat'd so please forgive any errors. I hope you enjoy!

Percy starts sending her out on ops before she becomes an agent.

 

It’s little stuff mostly—someone’s got a big mouth they need help closing, he wants some information extracted with a gentle hand—things people wouldn’t notice happening off the books. There’s a lot of what Amanda likes to call _Full Contact Operations_ and what the recruits have oh so cleverly dubbed, _Fuck Ops_.

 

That type of job doesn’t bother her the way it does some of the others. Jaden thinks of her pussy in the same way she thinks of the gun at the small of her back or her balled fist or the spiked heel of her shoe: as another part of her arsenal. Another weapon to be wielded at Division’s discretion.

 

Percy’s sitting behind his big desk when she walks in, talking into his phone with his back turned, making sure to ignore her whatever amount of time it takes to subtly reinforce his power. She stands there calmly, hands clasped behind her back. She bets doing the boss man would be like sleeping with any one of those rich dudes he’s sent her out on missions to kill. He probably fucks like a jackhammer.

 

“If you think I don’t know everything that goes on under my roof, you’re wrong,” he mutters suddenly and she feels herself tense slightly before relaxing. His declaration was pointed enough to be worrying but vague enough for whoever it was used against to hang themselves. He doesn’t know anything. If he did, she’d be drugged up on some table or decomposing in a vat of acid right now.

 

Jaden nods, “of course, sir.”

 

He turns toward her, a slight smile fluttering at the corners of his mouth, as he hangs up the receiver. “There’s something coming up soon. Something high profile that could finally get you promoted. Then we’d set you up in a nice little apartment in the city. A credit card, lots of free time…”

 

“But?” The question is clipped, more telling than she would’ve liked. Amanda would be so displeased.

 

“No buts,” he smiles fully then.  “Maybe a caveat or two.”

 

Jaden licks her lips, she’s ready.  “Anything you need, sir. Anything for Division.”

—

Alex has had training.

 

There’s no way a junky, one day off the street, should have been able to get the drop on her as many times as that skinny bitch did in the beginning. Still does, embarrassingly enough. Any idiot should’ve noticed as much by now but Jaden is beginning to realize that Division is full of people who can’t see beyond their own shit.

 

“He knew, you know,” she says suddenly, apropos of nothing, breath coming out of her in gasps as Jaden glowers at her feet.

 

“He who?”

 

Alex doesn’t bother answering. “He knew I was the one who broke into Percy’s office and he didn’t say a word.”

 

Jaden feels a knot forming in the pit of her stomach. She wants to call Alex out, to say the other girl’s a liar and believe it but that same tight spot inside of her knows what the other girl’s saying is true. That Thom _had_ liked her, he just never liked her _as much_ and if it came down to a choice? Well…

 

She looks up at Alex’s face and doesn’t see the smile of glee she’d expected.  The bitch almost looks gentle, like she’s trying to free her or something. Jaden doesn’t think she’s ever hated her more than _right this moment_.

 

Alex takes a step back, relaxes her fighting stance and shrugs. “Just thought you might like to know.

—

Jaden rarely dreams but when she does, it’s of Amanda’s office.

 

It’s curved lines, how clean and white it is, the flowers, the candles, the way it smells. She’s on the couch, her head all fuzzy and staticy and Amanda’s sitting too close, her hand on her face.

 

“You can’t trust her.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Amanda’s hand has migrated to her inner thigh, her mouth damp against her ear and Jaden jerks toward her touch mindlessly. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes. Amanda’s always been nice to her, Jaden doesn’t want to offend. “I didn’t mean—“

 

The grin against her cheek shuts Jaden up as Amanda moves her palm higher. “She’ll take everything from you.”

 

“ _Everything_...”

 

“That’s right,” she whispers. Amanda’s finger running along the elastic of her panties and all she can do is try and catch her breath.

 

“She’s out to get you,” she goes on and, suddenly, Jaden understands. She tries to sit up as Alex’s face flashes behind her lids but Amanda pulls her back. “Keep your eye on her. Protect yourself.”

 

Jaden wakes up in her room suddenly, her heart racing over something she can barely recall. A sweet smell still lingers in her nose but there’s nothing here to account for it, just stuffy, recycled air and the first scent of lunch wafting down the halls.

 

She looks around, licks her lips and takes a breath. There’s no need to worry. She lays back a moment then stands and puts on her shoes.

 

Jaden’s safe here. Safe as houses.

—

Thom’s an idiot.

 

When she’s bored—no missions to complete, no tasks to practice— she thinks about ways she can kill him with no one noticing. Maybe slipping into his room one night and sliding a blade between his third and fifth rib, landing her katana wrong during a sparring session.

 

Sometimes she just wants to blow his head clean off. Fuck witnesses and repercussions.

 

She has him on her bed, her hand inside the zipper of his slacks and he’s looking at her like he’s worried about her or something. Like he’s actually her friend. “Is this what you want _her_ to do to you?”

 

“Stop.”

 

“To touch you like this? “

 

“Jaden!”

 

He’s got his stern _I’m-an-agent-now_ voice on and she rolls her eyes, tightens her grip and lowers her voice a little. Makes it more like _hers_. “You mean a lot to me, Thom.” His hips jerk and his mouth opens in surprise as he watches her. “I really look up to you. I trust you.”

 

“Jaden—“

 

“ _Alex_.” She corrects. He moves his mouth but no words come out. “I think about you sometimes.” Jaden continues.  “I think about your hands and your voice—“ His eyes flutter shut and she feels the line of her mouth tighten.

 

She could poison him, maybe.

 

Medical has more security than most other places around here but she knows the doctor pretty well. She could get in if she wanted to. She could put the pillow she sleeps on every night over his face right now. It’s not as if he’s paying attention, Thom never has been able to see what’s right in front of his face. She’s reaching for it when she stops suddenly. Jaden won’t hurt him, she can’t. Even though he’s a terrible friend, even though he humiliates her, even though he makes her weak and he’ll never want Jaden the way he wants _her_.

 

He comes in her fist then, gasp choked off and quiet, and she stares down at the evidence blindly as he hurries from the bed, zips his pants and starts rambling on about _protocol_ and _his position as her superior_ and how _she has to know that this can never ever happen again, right?_

 

She’s barely listening but she nods her acceptance anyway.

 

He walks out—perfectly calm and as put together as he’d been when he walked in—and Jaden decides that Division’s like one of those choose your own adventure books she used to love as a kid. The ones where, no matter what you chose, you’d still end up chest high in quicksand with no one to throw you a rope.

—

Jaden fucks Birkhoff as punishment.

 

If it takes her more than a minute to disarm a bomb: Hand job. Get beat during a sparring match:  Full on make-out session. Lose _anything_ to Alex (from the smallest commendation to being picked to go on ops): blowjob.

 

Her jaw’s been killing her lately.

 

She’d decided she would only make herself have full on sex with the asshole if Alex became an agent before Jaden did, which would never happen. Not when she’d gotten to Division months earlier. Not when she was training while Alex was sneaking around doing whatever shady shit it was she did all day. This was her failsafe. The one thing she counted on and she’d been wrong, _yet again_.

 

Jaden’s getting used to the feeling.

 

When she walks into his office, he doesn’t say anything and neither does she.

 

“It’s that time again, huh?”He finally asks without even bothering to look away from the computer screen he’s typing something on and she wants to put her fist right through it. To provoke him in some way, scare him; knock the swagger right out of the set of his shoulders.

 

The first time she did this, Jaden expected him to be soft. To have Cheeto dust under his fingernails and smell like mothballs or Axe body spray. To have a short, stubby dick and say stupid shit like _it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean_.

 

His dick’s not short or stubby, he smells clean like Dove soap, his nails are closely cropped and impeccably manicured and when she straddles his lap instead of getting to her knees or pulling him to her side on the couch or reaching her hand into his pants, he doesn’t look surprised in the least.

 

He’s not selfish like she thought he would be, either. When she thrusts, he pushes back, when she reaches back to grab his balls, he takes her hips and grinds against her clit. He wants to make her come too (even if it’s just because he needs to get in her head. To waggle his eyebrows at her from the catwalk and mime her O face when no one’s looking) and that pisses her off even more.

 

He may not be the mutant she always thought but he’s still older. He still buys comic books and stares into a computer screen all day and probably hasn’t had sex since sophomore year of college. She grabs the back of his chair, puts her feet on the floor and rides him at a punishing pace. He can’t match her. _He can’t._

 

Birkhoff grabs her high up on her ribs and thrusts back, doesn’t look away, doesn’t give an inch.

 

Her legs are shaky, thighs burning, as she walks out afterward and Jaden doesn’t hate him anymore, not like she used to anyway.   She’ll still fuck him like she does, though.

—

Roan doesn’t like it when she moves, so she doesn’t.

 

She has to lie still, still as a corpse or risk being cut, as he runs his blade along the seams of her uniform and the soft cotton comes apart as easy as paper.  She stares at the ceiling as he leans over her and Jaden would be lying if she said she wasn’t proud that she’d caught his eye. 

 

Everyone knows his reputation.

 

Roan’s quieter and more skilled than any other person currently on Division’s pay roll. Roan’s killed more enemy agents than any of the other Cleaners combined. There’s a story that, when he was a kid, his dog stole the last bite of rice crispy from little Roan’s sticky fingers and he killed him dead right on the spot. The man’s died and come back to life as least two more times than Jesus Christ. He’s more legend than human at this point. The Boogeyman of Division.

 

Fucking him is quite the coup.

 

She feels cool metal against the skin of her belly and swallows thickly, not sure if she wants to move away or arch forward. Welcome his edge with open arms. Wonders, idly, is Division will make her what he is.

 

She thinks of Michael standing around with his arms crossed, looking bored and pissed off at the same time. She thinks of Nikita, doing everything she can to destroy them. She remembers Thom when he was more than a dead body at the end of the hall. When he was still wandering around Division in his tailored suit, with a gun at his waist and his eyes all round and wet and tortured or whatever ‘cause he finally had to pull the trigger.

 

Jaden killed five people her first night out.

 

Jaden still finds it impossible to give a shit.

 

Jaden’s pretty sure she’d fit right in.

 

She’s naked now, the coolness of the room tightening her nipples and leaving her exposed as he looms over her and there’s not a flicker of pity or affection or even desire anywhere to be found in his blank, cold gaze. Jaden breathes out slowly and relaxes back into her mattress. _Perfect_. That’s what she needs, exactly what she wants.


End file.
